Listening is the most underrated skill in communication. Most people focus on speaking part, so listening stays unexplored while I, as a communication coach, find it more powerful skill than speaking. It gives you access to the mind of others and helps you understand their concerns, aspirations, motivations, resistance and challenges. Once you have access to this goldmine, you are empowered to influence and support people like never before. Be aware of these mistakes that you commit while listening:
1. Assumption: You interpret information based on your values, education and experiences. If you notice any scope of doubt, just ask to clarify. Never assume.
2. Distraction: While talking to the person offer him the gift of undivided attention. Silence your phone, mute your TV and do everything possible to make sure that you are with her. Nothing makes the person disrespected than your divided focus.
3. Listening only to the Words: How many times the verbal cues that you give is in dissonance with your thoughts? Quite often. The same happens with others. Listen to the feelings, and the unsaid phrases. Listen in context. Don’t just trust the words completely.
4. Listening to Compete: Many people listen only to prove that they are right. Every interaction is a competition to satisfy their ego. Have an open mind. Show generosity. Listen to understand.
5. Poor Timing: You could be rushing to a meeting and a colleague comes to discuss a critical project. That may not be the right time. Be aware of the timing of your conversation.
When you put these strategies into practice, initially you may feel uncomfortable, boring and tiring. You have no choice but to swallow these bitter pills to become a high impact speaker.